Has Anyone Seen Our Baby?

I am a parent, a daaaaaady, if you ask my daughter….who’s dat? Which is why this story intrigues me so much. It befuddles me how two parents, not just one, could forget about their 3 mo. old child in a shopping cart for over an hour, with both eventually leaving. The incident is being called a ‘misunderstanding’ among family members. Um, excuse me for disagreeing with that statement. I won’t go as far as saying it was child abandonment, and neither did the sheriff’s office that looked into the case, but it surely isn’t a ‘misunderstanding’. You know what a ‘misunderstanding’ is? It, by definition is roughly…to miss interpret a word or phrase. Is it unclear to anyone else but these parents what, I’m going to take the kids home means? The dad, unfortunately for us guys, is the one who fucked up and didn’t take the 3 mo. out of the shopping cart as the rest of the group walked away. What a jackass. Read the full story here

Woman Tells Cop She Bought ‘Bad Crack’

If you have not heard about this story, you can get all the information you need from the heading. A woman, 50, yes the age is not a joke. A 50 year old woman approached a police officer complaining that she was sold bad crack cocaine. She was later arrested for possesion, bonded out for $1,504, and left without her shitty crack. I can see the execs. of COPS shitting themselves with glee, if they were on the scene. It doesn’t say in the report whether the woman was high at the time she approached the officer, however, it did state that she pulled the rock out of her mouth. Some people’s stupidity ceases to amaze me. But it does make for a good blog…I think? You can read the whole story here

SNL SKIT…HILARIOUS!

So if you were like me, and didn’t go out on Saturday night. Instead you stayed at home with your daughter, and/or son, and caught SNL. I haven’t seen a show since Will Ferrell resurrected Harry Carey for the last time. Luckily for me, I guess, my fiance is still a really big fan and she had me tape the show while she was out with her friends for the night. Justin Timberlake was the host. Up until that show, I really didn’t care for J.T. (as his fans call him) one way or the other. But after sitting there for an hour and a half, completely entertained by him, I have converted over. I am now a fan. There was one particular skit that I found extremely funny.

Be prepared, completely unexpected…But freaking great. ENJOY.

No Tie? No Problem.

I recently attended a Christmas party for work. I have been working there roughly seven months, so I was still relatively new and didn’t really want to go. In the end I’m glad I did because I learned some valuable ’style’ advice. The advice wasn’t for me, though I usually have to ask my fiance if I match. That, however, is a whole other story. Anyway, there was a gentleman that showed up to the party sans tie. Now you would think this fashion move would go unnoticed amongst us common people at the party. Unfortunately for this guy, it did not. All night I heard women mentioning how he looked sloppy and unkept. Yeah, all because he didn’t wear a tie. I must be way out of touch with style because I didn’t see what they were seeing. Which prompted me to do a little research…How to go tieless and pull it off.

From what I found, there are seven (7) do’s. I will not go into great detail, but if you would like to know more about this topic, contact the site or leave a comment.

1.) Suit Pattern - The wrong pattern and you might as well not go out. Make sure you ask the tailor if the pattern of the suit is right for you.
2.) The Collar - The type of collar is crucial. Most men go with the basic spread-collar. The high and buttondown are also good options. Stay away from the traditional spread because it doesn’t work without the tie.
3.) Color - Try some! You don’t always have to go with the safe white. Light blues and tans go great with deep, dark colored jackets and trousers.
4.) Remember Your Cuffs - Normally not an area of real importance, but when going without a tie its pivotal to remember. A good cuff can keep you looking dressy and make your tieless suit less noticeable.
5.) Size Really Does Matter - If you want to look good (with or without a tie), tighten up the loose ends. (Meaning: your suit should be well-tailored)
6.) Remove Collar Stays - It doesn’t matter what collar you end up choosing, the stays must go. (If you don’t know what a collar stay is, don’t ever wear suit)
7.) Be in Shape - Most likely you will have loosened the top two buttons. You don’t want to look like you have to loosen your belt either. Be in shape…it looks better in a suit.

I hope you found all that helpful.

Drunk Animals

Who says animals are dumb? Watch our wildlife get hammered off fermented fruit. ENJOY.

The Missing Ingredient?

I am not sure if this will work on American women, but it is sure worth a try. Butter is not just for dinner anymore. ENJOY!

The Great Debate

I recently found myself in an all too familiar conversation with some people (men) I work with. Naturally, as one would expect when guys get together, the conversation ends up on the issue of sex. Which is a topic very close to my heart and the heart’s of many others. So without any further a deux…

Eh Um…drum roll…

Good Head vs. Great Head

Is there a difference? What’s the difference? Who cares, its head.

So many ways to approach the issue. So many variables involved to make it ‘Great’. Rarely, in my opinion, can you make a case for it being ‘Great’. But there are always exceptions. (Just a note: Rarely can you say its bad as well)

The way I see it is like this…

To give ‘Good Head’ you need to do three things:
1. Cup the balls
2. Use your hands
3. NO TEETH!

Easy enough right?

To give ‘Great Head’ you need to do more than the above:
4. Use a lot of saliva
5. Focus on the head- you don’t need to deep throat it all the time
6. Pressure (sucking)-keep this in check, the penis is not a straw
7. Get it all-Swallowing is not mandatory, but you should make sure you get it all
8. Play with the head after ejaculation-the penis is real sensitive at that point (easier to do if you swallow)
9.Perfect your style/technique
10. Practice-its what makes perfect

If there is anything I missed, please fill in the blanks.

Farewell Uncle Pete

In Memory of Peter Boyle
October 18, 1933 - December 12, 2006

Peter Boyle (best known for his role as frank Barone on ‘Everybody Loves Raymond’) was born October 18, 1933 in Philadelphia, Pa and a graduate of La Salle University, died on Teusday December 12, 2006. He was 71 years old.

I would like to thank Peter for making us laugh for so many years. The show would not have been a show without you. Enjoy the clip.

Inaugural Post

Today is a day to remember. Today I break into the world of blogging with the text you are reading this very second. I will be honest, blogging has been a guilty pleasure of mine for some time, it just took me a few years to jump on board. And lets face it, its your guilty pleasure too.

This will be all for now. Short and sweet. Now you might be thinking this is a weak first blog. To that, I say this…I do not want to blow my load early like a 16 year old boy on his first sniff of the vagina, and then fade into a life of self help for the years to follow. Better posts in the future. So keep checking back and share your thoughts, about my thoughts. It will only help me make this site better.

Special thanks to Dan (BigPlansBigCrash.com) [plug], for the Blogging 101 Lessons.

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