Have You Ever…
February 28, 2007
Well, I am pretty proud of myself that I got out a new Have You Ever? on time this week. The last one didn’t go over very well, even though I thought it was pretty solid when I put it up. In any case, I think this one is pretty solid as well. One that will appeal to both sexes.
Now, for the ladies and gentlemen who read my page, the new Have You Ever?
Have You Ever…shaved/waxed your pubic hair
I know I have. Shaved, not waxed. But I have in the past, one time, taken it all the way back to pre-pubescent years. Ball sack too of course….always have to take care of the ball sack. So if you are like me and gave it a go, or still take care of the hair, feel free to share.
RELATED POSTS:
…skinny dipping
…shit your pants
…been caught f’ing
Stickybutter’s Guide To The Perfect Grind
February 28, 2007
About 3-5 weeks ago I went down to the city, I commented about it, and hung out with a couple cousins of mine. If you haven’t seen the post, you can check out the link at the bottom of the page. Now because the night was somewhat memorable (only because the of the “dancing”), when we get together we bring up bits and pieces of that night. Friday was no different, we got together and that night came up again, and this time it got me thinking about how to perform the ‘perfect grind’. I admittingly am no JT on the dance floor, but I am surely not the ugliest one out there either. I can fall into a bit of a groove after I knock down a few and can actually hear, feel and move to the rhythm of the music. But enough about me. Let us get to my guidelines.
1. It is OK to be drunk, but if you’re too drunk, you’ll just be fucking sloppy out there.
2. Make eye contact with your ‘victim’ BEFORE you slide up behind her.
3. If you get the go ahead, be in control of your body, do not allow her to be ‘poked’. If you’re rocking a chub, take a step back until it subsides.
4. Touching is ok….groping will find you on the dance floor alone (unless she is a whore or too drunk to notice) In those cases, you’re probably on pace to take her home.
5. DO NOT try and copy moves from a guy who really does have rhythm. Stay within yourself or you will look even worse out there.
6. DO NOT try and keep up with the girl. Again, stay within yourself and let her guide you along.
7. Unless you REALLY can dance, do not try and dance with a girl out of your league.
8. At all cost, do not try and talk while dancing. When talking you lose focus. Your eyes should be on her hips (occassionally look at her) at all times so you stay in rhythm with her. So save the charm for after the song ends.
I cannot promise you that this will in fact make you a better dancer, but it will make you a more respectful dancer, and in turn could get you what you really want…that number.
RELATED POSTS:
White Kids Dancing
Sex or Fly?
…Great Ass?
Hungry, Hungry Hippo
February 27, 2007
So I was surfin’ the web for nonesense, as I usually do, and I came across a picture of a hippopotamus eating a zebra. Apparently this has never been caught on camera/tv ever!, until now of course. I looked for the footage but came up short. Judging by the pictures, I am sure the video is pretty kick ass. If anyone can find this footage on the web, let me know because I would like to see how hardcore a hippo can be when hungry. Enjoy.
The Dumb Files
February 27, 2007
Yet another week for The Dumb Files. I thought this week I would change it up a little and give you my top 5 All-time dumbest songs. There is an infinite amount of material that could make my top 5 but I am not going to kill myself trying to narrow them all down. So the first five that I can think of I am going with. And here they are…
1. Barbie Girl - Aqua
2. Surfin’ Bird - The Trashmen
3. I’m Gonna Hire A Wino (To Decorate Our Home) - David Frizzell
4. C’mon ‘N Ride It (The Train) - The Quad City DJ’s
5. Mmm Bop - Hanson
Well there is my top 5. I put them in no real particular order. If you have any songs that should have made the short list, leave them in the comments.
RELATED POSTS
School Excuses
Dumb Criminals
Warning Labels
Have You Ever…
February 23, 2007
Wow! So I’ve been looking back at the last time I issued a Have You Ever? and it wasn’t recent. Over a month actually. For whatever reason, I got caught behind and the weeks just kept piling up. Didn’t matter though, no one seemed to notice. But I am now ready to get another Have You Ever? out there for your enjoyment. Since it has been awhile you might want go back and check out the last posted Have You Ever?.
So here it is…
Have You Ever…gone skinny dipping?
These two have…
I am going to go ahead and say I have, but many, many years ago. I was young, 16 I think. But I can’t say it was a great event. Really didn’t seem to be anything big at all. When I did it, I went into it with some amount of hype and found it to be disappointing. Anyone else?
Leave them in the comments.
God Hates Fags
February 23, 2007
So I stumbled across this website [lovegodsway.org] that appears to be run by an individual (Donnie Davies) who is clearly outside his fucking mind. I really don’t even want to associate him with fundamentalism because it would be a disservice to fundamentalists everywhere. The entire website is a fucking disaster. The language he uses is embarrassing. And when I say “language”, I don’t mean expletives. For example, Double D uses this sentence on the home page…“All the attention and new followers has corporate very, very excited…We have a lot of hot stuff coming down the pipe…”. Very, very excited? …hot stuff coming down the pipe? What kind of asshole actually talks like that? Donnie Davies would be that asshole.
The Dumb Files
February 22, 2007
Today I am going to attempt to get back on track with The Dumb Files. I can’t be certain that [my people] actually enjoy these, but it is amusing to me to look for the material. Some of the shit I come across just boggles me.
Since it has been a while between the last posting and this one (over a week now I think), I will double up on this weeks post. If you missed [last] week’s post, or just forget what it was and what to read it again, you can check it out at The Dumb Files. Now onward!
School Excuses Written by the Student’s Parents…you’ll see why these make the cut into The Dumb Files.
1. Please exkuce Lisa for being absent she was sick and I had her shot
2. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
3. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
4. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins. (she meant varicose veins…if you don’t know, look it up)
5. Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre, dyrea, direathe), the sh!ts.
The following will be some dumb (funny) pictures that I have come across. Check it out.
Sex or Fly?
February 21, 2007
I heard a very interesting debate on the radio this morning. The debate was this…Would you rather: 1. Have sex with your fantasy girl…or…2. Fly with the Blue Angels.
I know it is not quite relatable to the women readers, I apologize for that, because both of these two choices are very manly. And while I listened to some of the callers and what they would choose and what the DJ’s were saying, I have to agree with Preston (from Preston and Steve), that this is really a tough decision. I sat there in my car and went back and forth as to what I myself would do if given the chance at either. And I have finally come to a decision. I would take a trip to the skies with the Blue Angels. My arguement? Sex is just sex, even if it would be with my fantasy girl. Which by the way is and always will be…Carmen Electra.
I know that it is not the most unique answer, because she is on most guys top 10 list and maybe even still in the top 5 list. But for me, even after all the rediculous guys she is linked to, like…the Bride himself, Dennis Rodman, I do not care. I have been all about her since she took over for Jenny McCarthy on MTV’s Singled Out. Besides what are the chances I will last as long as the jet ride with Carmen? Probably zero. Both would be memorable and I may even pass out and vomit during both, but I would still go with the jet ride.
So that is my choice, taking a ride in a Blue Angel jet. Anyone else feel the same as me or am I alone on this one?
Leave em in the Comments
By the way if you like Would You Rather scenarios, you can check them out at BigPlansBigCrash
What Goes Around…
February 20, 2007
Yup…yup…yup…JT…Timberland. So I finally got to see the video with Scarlett Johanson, and to my surprise, it wasn’t at all what I had expected it to be. There was so much hype surrounding the ‘content’ of the video that I thought for sure it would be filled with steamy provocative scenes. Sadly, it didn’t even make any sense to me. The video, which was more like Michael Jackson’s History video…a short movie…didn’t seem to flow with what the lyrics were saying. I’ve heard others say differently. So who knows? I could be completely wrong and the video could flow perfectly. On the other hand I could be right. Either way I was left with nothing but disappointment. Check it out for yourself and leave your thoughts in the comments.
New SI Swimsuit Issue
February 19, 2007
The new SI Swimsuit Issue is now out on your local newstands. I don’t like the cover model they chose…Beyonce, but who am I to judge. It did get me thinking about who the best swimsuit models of past and present. I would prefer that they have been on the cover if you disagree with any of the names I have listed. And if I were to add one who was NOT on the cover and should be…Maris Miller, currently in current issue wearing an iPod. Yes an iPod. Take a look. She even appeals to my fiance. And she is my current SI/Victoria’s Secret favorite.
1. Daniella Pestova
2. Heidi Klum
3. Tyra Banks
4. Petra Nemcova
5. Kathy Ireland
If there are any other SI Models that you think should be added to the top 5, leave them in the comments, but you better make a good arguement.
