White Kids Dancing

We have all seen it before. It isn’t pretty and usually gets worse as the night goes on and the beer wears thin. I came across the humiliating act of white dancing a few weeks ago when I went down to the city to hang out with a couple cousins of mine. Two of us have been out of college for an average of 2.5 years. The third, still in college using a fake ID. (Oh how it feels like yesterday that I was doing the same thing). Anyway, I quickly came to the conclusion…again…that I was too old for this particular scene. Not that 24 is too old for the bar scene, just too old for the “college” bar scene where getting completely loused up is your main goal. Well…that is probably a real close second to getting laid. Whatever the reason, whether it be the fact that I am engaged, a dad, or just been there done that and bored of it, I don’t have fun any longer when I am at a place like that. But I digress.

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More Britney Pictures

Just a small follow up on Britney’s G.I. Jane moment. Thanks to l-dawg, we have these little gems. Enjoy.

My apologies on the blurriness. I will fix it later on this evening for those of you who care.

Britney Shaves Head

So Britney Spears is again making headlines. Not because she drove a car with her baby on her lap, or because she went out with Paris Hilton wearing no panties showing off another bald spot on her body, or for passing out at the night club, or her exhausting divorce from K (Po-Po Zoa) Fed. Apparently while on her way to a tattoo parlor she made a stop at a local salon for a quick make-over. Not just a little off the sides…she took it all. Readers…she is now completely bald. Everywhere!!! I can’t wait till next friday when The Soup gets a hold of all this material. Take a look for yourself. Its freaking AMAZING! What will she come up with next?

Honeymoon 2008

As most of my 5 readers know, I am getting married in Fall 2008. Naturally, there is non-stop wedding talk at our house, most of which is coming from my fiance…as one would expect. But recently I have been slowly getting more and more involved, even though we are more than a year away…can never start planning too early.

Anyway, one of the best things about getting married is planning a honeymoon destination. And I have to admit, she did a f’ing great job at finding a place. She found a place that had all inclusive golf. Now you don’t know this, but I have become a pretty determined golfer over the last few years. At best though, I’m a scratch golfer, but I hope to be good one day. The final destination place of our honeymoon? It looks like we have settled on Punta Cana, which is located in the Dominican Republic. Should be fun. Lots of activities that will keep us pretty busy. But the one activity that I am looking forward to is….well take a look for yourself.

Oh yes! Sex on the beach. Looking very forward to it.

My Many Faces, Part 5

Well the final look is obviously a clean shaven face. I have read all of your comments (you know all 2 comments I received) and will take them into consideration. I will tally up the votes and post my ‘winning’ face in My Many Faces, Part 6 (winning face). If you forget what last weeks face was, you can check it out right here. Comment away.

By Request

There was a request in the comments section of my Love Stinks post by scuuuuuuba for more ass and titties. If you knew scuuuuuuba, the request is not at all surprising. And in the efforts to give my readers what they want. Here is some ass and titties by request. Enjoy

Love Stinks

I kind of feel bad. In an earlier post I had mentioned how V-day is great unless your single. Well turns out that when I went to work, I found out that an acquaintance of mine had just recently broke up with a significant other late last night. She had recently opened up and said those dangerous three words…I Love You. Now fellas, we know how we can be around those words. And who knows, it could have been too early to break out that phrase, I didnt get into the specifics, but it got me thinking about how shitty love can be sometimes. Its like a natural disaster. Sometimes you don’t see it coming and even when you do, there is little you can do about it. In any case here goes my rant.

Have you ever been in love? It is the most horrible yet invigoratingly free feeling there is. It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest, your heart, your mind and your soul once you let it out. But it also means that you just let someone inside your plate of armor who can fuck you up if they want to. You spend all your life building up walls and defenses, ways out and ways into another person’s life; often a stranger or acquaintance. So we spend all this time, most of our early childhood and pre-teen years, building and maintenancing our armor so that nothing can harm us. Only to one day, let one fucking person, who is no fucking different from any other person, waltz into your fucking wonderfully gaurded life. You give them a small piece of you to start. They never asked for it, but you uncontrollably gave it to them. Wondering the whole time up until that moment when you give it away, if it was the right decision. Then you spend all night hoping it was still the right decision. And you don’t know what they did. It was probably something so trivial, like kissing you or a smile, and in that instant your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes no prisoners. Once it gets inside you, it eats at you and then leaves you for dead in the darkness. ‘Maybe we should just be friends’, meaningless any other day of your life, turns into an acid shower drowning your heart. It hurts…a lot. Not just in your dreams, or in your mind. But your soul. It’s soul-pain, a real ice-in-your-veins-rip-you-apart kind of pain. I love love. But sometimes I hate love.

Well that was a lengthy rant. Comment if you please.

Put Her In The Mood (Love Songs)

Today is Valentine’s Day and what a f*cking day. As far as driving is concerned, today sucks. As far as sledding is concerned, it’s only so, so (because the freezing rain doesn’t really leave you with a sled worthy surface). As far as staying in with your man/woman, it is a great day. Snowed in with nothing to do but sip coffee and have sex all damn day (unless of course you have kids). For those of you with kids (like me) I feel ya. For those of you who are single…there is always next year.

But I like V-day. It is the only day of the year where love is truly, “in the air”. Unless your single, then you can go buy your mom some flowers and love her (sorry for picking on the single readers). Anyway, in keeping with the Valentine’s Day spirit I wanted to find out what my reader’s think are the best V-day love songs. I will start it off, but I am going to go a little un-traditional with a legendary 70s rock band, and work my top 5 from there. Here I go…

1. A Whole Lotta Love - Led Zeppelin
2. Let’s Get It On - Marvin Gaye
3. Maybe I’m Amazed - Paul McCartney
4. Here And Now - Luther Vandross
5. Wonderful Tonight - Eric Clapton

So there is my top 5. I know that there are immeasurable choices, and I am sure I missed some obvious ones that you think I should have in my short list. But they are the songs I am going with. Have a list? Put ‘em in the comments.

Oh, and in case you are planning on getting some lovin’ today…the best album to have sex to is Peter Kruder’s Peace Orchestra.

The Return of Johnny Lawrence

Does the name sound familiar? No? Well let me give you a little hint…”Sweep the leg”. No? How about…Cobra Kai all-star! Yeah you know who he is now don’t you. Of course you do. Johnny Lawrence (Bill Zabka), Daniel LaRusso’s nemessis in The Karate Kid. He didn’t have any real good lines, unfortunately, because if he did I would have thrown one up here. Oh and to my readers who love to quote movies (you know who you are) if you can think of a good line that he had in The Karate Kid then please post them in the comments.

OK, so the real reason I put this up. Bill Zabka recently directed a music video spoofing his character Johnny Lawrence. The music behind the video might suck to an extent, but the content (of video) is pretty good. Turns out, he is a pretty funny guy. So on to the video…oh and take note of some f’ing amazing cameos throughout. Comment and Enjoy.

Perfect Score on the SATs…WHAT?!!!

Wait, what? Did you just read that right? Yes, yes you did. A 10 year old little asian boy recently took the SATs (for fun of course) because that’s what asian kids do, and scored a perfect 800 in the math section. OK, seriously a 5th grader got an 800? The average score for the math section on the SATs is 518. This kid crushed my score of a 500. Yes 500 is below the current national average I know. I do not care. If you want to see this kid in action and hear his interview, you can check it out here.

Anyone else get their ass kicked by this kid in the math section?

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