Ask Ron Ron
March 7, 2007
Who is Ron Ron? Ron Artest. No f’ing joke! Ron Artest has an advice column in Dime Magazine. Is there something I missed about Ron Ron? When did his thoughts/actions become credible enough to warrant an advice column for other dumb asses? Some of you might not know who Ron Artest is…just google him, there is plenty of material to keep you occupied for months.
To give you an idea of the kind of advice Ron Ron is giving to his many followers, I pulled two gems from the Dime Magazine web page for your entertainment. Let us read on.
Ron-Ron, what’s your favorite quote? – Kevin
My favorite quote is “I’ma smack the [expletive] out of you.” [You can’t get any more poetic than that right there.]
Ron, I’m thinking about popping the question to my girl. How should I do it? – Calvin
“First you gotta have sex one last time, you know, and tell her you love her. You should probably take her out to a simple dinner, nothing too crazy. Keep it simple, because a lady is looking for the little things. If she wants to be with you forever, she’ll like that.” [Why are you having sex with her one last time? I guess that’s why athletes cheat on their wives all the time…once you get married, you get no more of da booty.]
Now my question to you…Is there anyone else, male/female, that would be a worse choice for an advice column? I am taking the easy one off your hands…Iron Mike Tyson. Beat that!
Ryan Kervick.
Sounds like an answer Ron Artest would give. Should I have said Mike Malen instead of Tyson?
No. It really doesn’t. Ryan Kervick is probably the worst person to get advice from.
How to find the perfect ass?
How to grind?
Please. At least Ron Ron would make it interesting and funny.
Maybe Steve’ll start a website. BpBc and StickyButter suck.
you probably should take some of that advice. we’ve all seen you try to dance (ie - dan’s shore house). and i’m pretty sure both websites weren’t created to entertain Mike Malen. so your opinions again fall on deaf ears.
Nah. Not a scumbag, so I don’t need to grind. And I’m not really an “ass-man”, so your advice is the opinions that fall on deaf ears, my friend. Since I am one of your 7 readers.
who is this Mike person you speak of?
And if they weren’t created to entertain him, they should at least be geared toward entertaining me.
Surprisingly enough, I have more than 7 readers, but only about 4 people who actually comment. And I know your smart enough to figure out that those posts were to be taken lightly, not seriously. And don’t worry more, useless advice to come. It’s what this site was made for.
As long as you’re learning how to work a website, so when you actually put some useful advice on one, it’ll work…and maybe people’ll read. Get me to do the designing for Toog to do the advertising.
I’m still waiting on Dan to hook me up with another so I can start my fitness web page…that might actually get readers
Dear Ron-Ron,
Why are you not in jail. You are an unintelligent, psycho, thug. You are probably one of the worst people on earth. I place you right behind Bin-Laden.