Best Of Craigslist
September 13, 2007
I have decided to make this a two-for this week because I can. It is amazing what some people will write on a website like craigslist, and actually think, hope, that the person they are trying to reach will contact them. I’m sure those “casual encounters” get some hits and “erotic encounters” as well. A girl has to make some money somewhere, I guess? But for the rest of you, I hope you know you’re a jackass. But it does make for material that I can use on this site. Thanks douchebags.
Now on to our first tool of the day. I put this up because it references Chuck E Cheese’s. I have a 2 year old, and me and the wife make impromptu stops every now and then. And in all the times I have been there, in my life, I have never encountered something like this asshole.
No More High Fives! What?!
June 19, 2007
VIENNA, Va. - A rule against physical contact at a Fairfax County middle school is so strict that students can be sent to the principal’s office for hugging, holding hands or even high-fiving.
What the FUCK?!! I am absolutely oiiahgduahuewhe speechless. What the fuck is wrong with people in Virginia? They do have dog fighting “arenas” so to speak, but you can’t high five in the hallway. WHAT??!! That’s all I have to say.
Read the rest of this story here.
The Dumb Files
March 20, 2007
So I heard about this guy who put up a clip of him showing his kids how to smoke weed and I had to search it down. As few of you know, I have a daughter of my own and would never be so dumb as to video myself pushing weed. Fortunately for the police, this guy was, and had it placed on YouTube where he was later arrested. So for that, he gets the nod for this weeks The Dumb Files.
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The Dumb Files
March 13, 2007
OK, I have about 10 minutes before my next client so I am going to try and get this in and out onto the web as fast as I can because the rest of the day is hell, and like I said, my computer took a shit on me, so I can’t do anything tonight.
With the new week, comes a new The Dumb Files. I am going to take an approach that not everyone will be able to relate to, but I think you’ll still be able to comment and share your own thoughts. Here goes it. The Dumb Files goes prego.
6. Tierrainney
5. Abeus (acronym for abuse…and he will be abused)
4. Wren (Poor little girl got named after a cartoon character)
3. Cherith
2. Sharmonica
1. Dusk (No joke, a woman actually wanted to name her daughter Dusk because she already had a Dawn)
So there it is. If you have heard of names that are just as bad, please share them so no one else makes these mistakes.
Note:Lisa DO NOT add Ainsley to the list. It is not a dumb name!
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The Dumb Files
March 6, 2007
Like I said, work permitting, I will have new material for The Dumb Files. And luckily, this morning was slow up until about 7:00am. So I took the time I had early to put together the new posting of The Dumb Files. I came across this website while I was searching for material to add. I am not going to go into detail of what I list, you can read more about it at the website where I found it. OK? Good.
The Dumb Files this week is…
Top 10 Dumbest Online Business Ideas That Made It Big Time
1. Million Dollar Homepage
2. SantaMail
3. Doggles
4. LaserMonks
5. AntennaBalls
6. FitDeck
7. PositivesDating.Com
8. Designer Diaper Bags
9. TruGamerz
10. Lucky Wishbone
If you have interest in finding out how we all could have been millionaires if we only thought of the dumb shit I just listed, check out www.weirdtechnewshub.blogspot.com for a brief description of each. It is truely amazing the kind of shit that will sell in this country. You know where to leave it.
The Dumb Files
February 27, 2007
Yet another week for The Dumb Files. I thought this week I would change it up a little and give you my top 5 All-time dumbest songs. There is an infinite amount of material that could make my top 5 but I am not going to kill myself trying to narrow them all down. So the first five that I can think of I am going with. And here they are…
1. Barbie Girl - Aqua
2. Surfin’ Bird - The Trashmen
3. I’m Gonna Hire A Wino (To Decorate Our Home) - David Frizzell
4. C’mon ‘N Ride It (The Train) - The Quad City DJ’s
5. Mmm Bop - Hanson
Well there is my top 5. I put them in no real particular order. If you have any songs that should have made the short list, leave them in the comments.
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The Dumb Files
February 22, 2007
Today I am going to attempt to get back on track with The Dumb Files. I can’t be certain that [my people] actually enjoy these, but it is amusing to me to look for the material. Some of the shit I come across just boggles me.
Since it has been a while between the last posting and this one (over a week now I think), I will double up on this weeks post. If you missed [last] week’s post, or just forget what it was and what to read it again, you can check it out at The Dumb Files. Now onward!
School Excuses Written by the Student’s Parents…you’ll see why these make the cut into The Dumb Files.
1. Please exkuce Lisa for being absent she was sick and I had her shot
2. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
3. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
4. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins. (she meant varicose veins…if you don’t know, look it up)
5. Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre, dyrea, direathe), the sh!ts.
The following will be some dumb (funny) pictures that I have come across. Check it out.
The Dumb Files
February 8, 2007
I have been real slow on The Dumb Files this week, so I am going to go back to the The Dumb Files roots with new episodes of dumb criminals. Prepare yourself for the worst, because these guys really are some dumb fucks.
Chicago: A man was wanted for throwing bricks through jewelry store windows and making off with the loot. He was arrested last night after throwing a brick into a Plexiglas window…the brick bounced back, hit him in the head and knocked him cold until the police got there.
When Stan Caddell wanted to wash his Chevrolet, he backed the car into a foot of water in the Mississippi River at Hannibal, Missouri. When he got out to clean the car, it floated away. Police were able to retrieve the vehicle some distance downstream. According to an officer on the scene, no action would be taken against the driver because “you can’t ticket a guy for being stupid…” (no, but you should be able to)
Kentucky: Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle’s license plate still attached to the bumper. (seriously…in Kentucky)
This is my favorite one of all…and Chris Hansen is there to clean up the mess. I guess dumb people really don’t learn.
The Dumb Files
February 1, 2007
I have to apologize to the 20 people who actually come to my site to look at the junk I put up here. I haven’t been able to keep up with the posting this week like I usually do. It has been a pretty hectic week for me. Hopefully the next few weeks will be better and I will have time to post a little more consistantly.
Anyway, since it has been over a week since the last dumb file, I should probably get one up and going right now. If you missed last weeks dumb file, you can check it out here. So this week I decided to share some dumb warning labels found on products. It may not be good, but its better than last week. Comment and Enjoy.
Liquid Plummer
Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages.
Bowl Fresh
Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet.
Sleeping Pills
Warning: May cause Drowsiness
American Airlines Peanuts
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
Nabisco Easy Cheese
For best results, remove cap.
And my favorite…
Hairdryer: Do not use while taking a shower.
The Dumb Files
January 23, 2007
Monday is behind us and Teusday is almost over, which means…it must be time for The Dumb Files. Last week I shared with you some dumb laws still in existence. I received some good comments on that and wanted to do it again. However, I decided against it and went with something that I call…dumb facts. Comment and Enjoy.
FACT 1: People photocopying their buttocks are the cause of 23% of all photocopier errors worldwide.
FACT 2: Charlie Brown’s dad was a barber.
FACT 3: The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp (marijuana) paper.
FACT 4: On average, every chocolate bar contains at least three insect legs.
FACT 5: “Almost” is the longest word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order.
There is a reason, as you can see, why I call this The Dumb Files. Because…well…they are pretty dumb. I’ll do better next time. Till then…Comment and Enjoy.
