Hot List: Disney Princesses

A quick back story about the birth of this post. I have a 2 years old daughter who is absolutely in love with Disney princesses. She watches these movies 4-5 times a day it seems. And sometimes more. So I see a lot of Disney princesses throughout the day. And I realized that they need to treated like any other little whore that goes up on my website.

I mean honestly, these chicks give it up way too fast. The whole thing really sends a bad message to little girls everywhere. For example, Ariel runs away from home at 16 to be with a 20 something Prince. Just the kind of message I want to send my little girl. “It’s ok Liv, just because you’re 16 and think you love this boy, you can run off, get married, and never see me again. It’s your life, do whatever you want.” That is a conversation you will never see me have. Fucking Disney ruining my life.

But one thing is clear. The artists know how to draw one hot piece of cartoon ass.

10. Minnie Mouse

I know, I know. Not exactly a “princess”. However, she is the first Disney female to grace the pages and the screen. Plus, for those of you on that beastiality kick, I am sure she does the trick. Lets see you argue that.

Editor’s Note: Daisey Duck comes in at 10a. I believe she is a little more skanky than Minnie, but Minnie still gets the edge in my book. I think its those eyes.

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Top 10 Worst Pick-Up Lines Ever!

Aah single life. It could be the best feeling in the world, and the absolute worst situation. How so? Well, you don’t have the nagging wife/girlfriend/mistress in your ear day in and day out (not all women nag, but majority do). You don’t have to answer to anyone or ask permission to stay out all night with the guys and get hammered. And some people think that being able to sling their dick around where ever they want, when ever they want is a nice perk as well. News Flash to those guys: I am all but married and can sling my dick around wherewhen ever I want too, it just can’t leave the house when slinging commenses.

It’s the worst situation because as we get older and graduate college, the opportunities to be in an area with people of the opposite sex of the same age, interests, unknowns ect. gets drastically smaller. There are no more freshman girls in your senior class electives and no longer are you living in an apartment complex surrounded by other college co-eds hanging out at the pool. You are now limited to finding someone from you work environment, the bars, or friends of friends. Certainly a situation that I am glad I don’t find myself in.

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A Long Weekend Of Family, Friends, Drinking, Golfing And Tradition

This weekend was the annual Farley Open; a golf outing which I have been a part of since 2004. The charity golf outing, itself, is in its 27th year. Basically, a bunch of grown men get together for a three day weekend of golf, A LOT of DRINKING, charity auctions, laughs, and stories. Below I posted a few of the more memorable things that came out of some people mouths this weekend. What I can remember anyway.

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10 Clues Your Woman Is Cheating On You

We all know men cheat. It’s very well documented (because women of the world unite). But it is still, still, very rare to hear much about the women of the world cheating on their man. Well, I am here to tell you that they do, probably more so than we really think or want to believe. Even still, women get a bit more of a free pass when they are the cheaters in the relationship because obviously, the man was doing something wrong to push her in that direction. It is absolutely impossible for a woman to cheat for no damn reason, just not in their genetic make-up. Women are loyal creatures, incapable of flaws so masculine, such as lust for another. As I said, complete fabrication, and I am here to prove it. The following 10 manuevers are ones to watch out for, especially if they are rolling a few deep. So, fellas, if your bitch (term used for sexual orientation anonymity) is pulling any one of these on you, start asking questions.

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Top 10 Most Alluring Women on Tv

10. Jenna Fischer (Pam Beasley - The Office)

pros: great note taker, excellent sense of humour, uncontrollably cute.

cons: receptionist for life, works in Scranton Pa, must attend all Dunder-Mifflin functions.

Lucky for her, I couldn’t put Olivia Wilde on my list because The Black Donnelly’s has been cancelled. But, she did make the list over the other potential candidates. Main reason? In the last episode of The Office she walked across hot coal. And that gives her the 10 spot.
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The 10 List…Movie Ass Whoopins

I stumbled onto a website called Sand and Cotton which made a list of 10 Bad Ass Beatdowns. Some I agreed with, but mostly I thought it was pretty poorly done. So I thought I would make my own 10 list. Enjoy.

10.MIKE TYSON KNOCKOUTS

I know, I know, it’s not a movie. However, I am making the arguement that Mike Tyson’s life in general was a bad movie with bad ass beat downs from beginning to end.

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The “Irish” 10 List, Part 2

It is the day before everyone’s favorite holiday, St. Patty’s Day. The bars are setting up for a long night of drunken debauchery. The people (patrons of bars) are preparing pre-game activities and early morning hangover remedies. So to them (bars and patrons) I give you part 2 of The “Irish” 10 List. These are drinks/shots I recommend to everyone who wants to make the night memorable, forgettable or just black out. Whatever your goals for the night, these will surely get you there.

10. Irish Coffee:coffee, Irish whiskey, brown sugar, whipped cream
9. Morning with the Leprechauns: Bailey’s Irish Cream, Irish whiskey, Cherry brandy, cold coffee, Crushed ice
8. Celtic Mix Cocktail:Scotch, Irish whiskey, lemon juice, Bitters
7. Irish Eyes: Kilbeggan Irish whiskey, green creme de menthe, heavy cream
6. Irish Prince: Jameson Irish Whiskey, tonic water
5. Nutty Irishman Shooter: Carolans Irish Cream, Hazelnut Liqueur
4. Dublin Handshake: Baileys Irish cream, Irish whiskey, Sloe gin
3. Irish Flag: Creme de Menthe, Grand Marnier, Irish Cream
2. Everybody’s Irish: Irish whiskey, green Crème de menthe, green Chartreuse
1. Irish Car Bomb: Guinness, Jamison, Bailey’s Irish cream

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…Part 1
Childhood Games

The “Irish” 10 List, Part 1

With St. Patty’s Day fast approaching, I wanted to do a little something about being Irish in a two part post. The first will be my 10 favorite quotes about the Irish. I know they say everyone is Irish on St. Patty’s Day, which they really aren’t,but I am actually Irish so I will celebrate as such. Anyway on to the list. Here is part 1 of The “Irish” 10 List.

10. “The Irish don’t know what they want and are prepared to fight to the death to get it.”
9. “The Irish ignore anything they can’t drink or punch.”
8. “The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven’t seen the joke yet.”
7. “God is good to the Irish, but no one else is; not even the Irish”
6. “Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat”
5. “The Irish are a fair people- they never speak well of one another”
4. “If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks.”
3. “Short-term amnesia is not the worst affliction if you have an Irish flair for the sauce.”
2. “If you’re lucky enough to be Irish, then you’re lucky enough.”
1. “Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish.”

There you have it. My top 10 quotes about the Irish. Have something to say about the Irish? Say it, but you better have a little in you.

The 10 List

I got into a conversation yesterday about what I (as in my generation) used to play as a kid. I was talking to a gentleman that was a bit older, along with a kid who was about 14 I think. The guy was a client, the kid was his son. There is that connection. Anyway, it got me thinking, what were the 10 best games I (we) used to play as a kid to “keep us out trouble”? Be sure to add your games that did not make the list, and any revisions of the games I put on mine if you played them differently. And if a description is needed, I will supply that for you, as names do change depending on location. Here goes it.

10. Hide and Seek
9. Tag/Freeze Tag
8. Spud (aka - Baby In The Air)
So this is one that could have multiple names. I know it as Spud. I have heard it called Baby In The Air as well. The concept is this…You designate a category (cars). Players choose a topic in the category (ford). You have a ball (the red kickball, you know it), and you throw it straight up in the air and call out Ford, for example. That person catches the ball, chooses a target, takes 4 steps spelling out SPUD, then tries to hit another player with the ball.
7. Kill The Man With The Ball
6. Kick The Can
5. Mano
This one goes way back. Used to play it with my boys in The Del, but it really picked up steam when my homies from The Horne got involved too. They actually had a net for it, we just used our couch. Big ups to The Lair. Basically hand hockey with a small soft stuffed ball, usually a soccer ball. Great game.
4. Man Hunt
3. Freedom (aka - Jailbreak)
Just like Man Hunt, except, you have designated jail where you put the captured players. When you find and capture the other team you yell, “123 no breaksies”. The team hiding can free their teammates by touching the jail and yelling freedom.
2. Swing It
This was only played in The Del, I guarantee it. You have two people get on a swing. Two or one other person has a ball (usually the red kickball) and is not on a swing. The two on the swing, well swing, and have to avoid the thrown ball at all cost. You can use your feet as a shield, all other body parts are fair game. Once you get picked off, you switch and the other player gets on a swing. We made it up, and it was good times.
1. Run The Bases
Possibly one of the best games we have ever had the priviledge to play. We had a great time playing, especially when my old man and Uncle Scott got involved. That is why it makes my list at #1.

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Songs
SI Swimsuit Issue

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