Top 10 Worst Pick-Up Lines Ever!

Aah single life. It could be the best feeling in the world, and the absolute worst situation. How so? Well, you don’t have the nagging wife/girlfriend/mistress in your ear day in and day out (not all women nag, but majority do). You don’t have to answer to anyone or ask permission to stay out all night with the guys and get hammered. And some people think that being able to sling their dick around where ever they want, when ever they want is a nice perk as well. News Flash to those guys: I am all but married and can sling my dick around wherewhen ever I want too, it just can’t leave the house when slinging commenses.

It’s the worst situation because as we get older and graduate college, the opportunities to be in an area with people of the opposite sex of the same age, interests, unknowns ect. gets drastically smaller. There are no more freshman girls in your senior class electives and no longer are you living in an apartment complex surrounded by other college co-eds hanging out at the pool. You are now limited to finding someone from you work environment, the bars, or friends of friends. Certainly a situation that I am glad I don’t find myself in.

So what are your options? Unfortunately you don’t really have any. You are forced into using one liners and pick-up lines out of desperation. They used to be funny little jokes you’d make to your middle school crush, now they are your go to guys. They do make the girls still laugh, but it’s out of pity now. You need help. I will help you.

Here are the

10 Worst Pick-Up Lines Ever

And I advise you to stay away from them.

10. Pardon me miss……Are you in heat?
HaHa. Gauranteed to make her laugh…just before she answers you with a “WHAT!?!?” I understand we use the animal instinct analogy a lot when referring to men and women. But, please, do not refer to her in any way as an animal. Unless you are in mid fuck and you scream out “You’re a fucking animal”.

9. Do you have a boyfriend? [NO] Do you want one? [YES] Well, when you want a MANfriend, come talk to me
A personal favorite of mine. I heard it used once in my life when I was 12 at baseball camp. It didn’t work, but I think it has potential.

8. Is your name Gillette? ‘Cause your the best a man can get.
Probably not a great idea to compare a woman to a man’s shaving cream product.

7. I’ve gotta thirst, and you look like my Gatorade.
The short of the long of it. Only shot this has is in a gym, and even then it’s slim.

6. Do you wanna come back to my place later? [Um?] You can bring some friends because my face seats five.
Pretty sure my fiance will have a comment about this. Something along the lines of. “Your such a pig”. Yes I am.

5. Should I call you in the morning, or nudge you?
IF…IF performed with the right punctuation, rhythm, and attitude…it might get you in. But the magic 8 ball says, “Outcome not so good”.

4. Hi. Would you fuck me? I’d fuck me. I’d fuck me real hard.
Where do I come up with this shit? If you use this line, it has to be said like White Goodman (Dodgeball), when he temps himself with the donut. Classic. But it won’t get you laid. Sorry.

3. You’re so hot, I’d suck a fart out of your ass and hold it like a bong hit.
Eh um. That’s just fucking gross.

2. Excuse me, was your dad a baker? ‘Cause you’ve got great buns.
Has anyone ever said that to a girl whose dad really was a baker? And did it work then?

1. What’s your sign?
Admittingly, the worst one on the list. It has never worked, EVER! It has been around the longest and is batting 0 for a lifetime. Please, do not use this line. Not even on your wife if your married.

So there you have it. My list of the worst pic-up lines ever. If you have one that you particularly like, or dislike. Leave it in the comments.

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